looking back and moving forward

This weekend was homecoming at Elon...and it's weird to say I wasn't really disappointed that I wasn't there. I look back at the time I spent there, the people I met, the classes I took, the things I learned...and they all seem so insignificant in comparison to what has happened since moving to Minneapolis in August. Don't get me wrong, Elon changed me, and I am thankful for the people who influenced me during my time there. I had some amazing mentors and made some incredible friends...but part of it just seems surreal. Lets just put it this way...Elon didn't really foster an inclusive and diverse community of people. When the nickname for your school is "the bubble"...you know there is something a little bit off. I wouldn't say that Elon was a racist school, but I spent alot of time yelling at people about making racist jokes. I thought I had this race thing all figured out. If I wasn't supporting outward acts of racism...I was helping to end it...gosh I was naive.

My parents paid for me to go to a private university, travel all over the world, volunteer instead of working to actually get paid, and I took it all as a given. I was raised to believe that these were the things I deserved if I put an ounce of effort into getting them....And then I joined LVC, moved to "the wrong side of town" and worked for an organization that provides low income housing...and I realized that racism pervades so much further than just the outward obvious acts of racism that happen every day. Being white and taking advantage of all the privileges that go along with that make me inherently racist. Because I was born middle/upper class white I have been given the automatic green light to so many things in this world...and while it has been wonderful for me...I'm starting to wonder...at what expense was I able to get these privileges? I see how unfair my life is in comparison to the people of color in my neighborhood, and the people I work with at the properties. Many of their lives have never come easy. There are roadblocks, and wrong turns, and lots of red lights simply because of who their family is, and the color of their skin. These revelations are frustrating and painful because the injustice is so pervasive and I see it everyday...and I am part of the problem. So these thoughts leave me in an interesting place...what do I do to become truly anti-racist? Do I sell all my earthly belongings and give them to people of color? Do I feel sorry for myself and realize that there is really nothing I can do to solve this enormous and pervasive problem?

As I look back on my past and live in my present, I realize that in order to have a future that is more socially just, the conversations I have entered into about race need to happen, not just in LVC but between all my friends, family, co-workers...and really...anyone who is willing to enter into this conversation with me. The only way to tackle this huge beast we are up against is to enter into honest dialogue about it. So there's my offer and best possible solution for the time being. Lets converse and get anti-racial.

Love,
Maggie